Why I Love My Alone Time.
I love my alone time.
Funny story: When D. & I were first engaged & before we moved in together, I had a legitimate freak-out over having to live with a boy! & not just him… D. had a son who was a freshman in high school at the time, so I was about to be living with a teenage boy 50% of the time in addition to my soon-to-be husband, as well. I panicked. I strongly considered calling off the engagement. I didn’t know how in the world I was going to do it… because I loved my alone time. Living alone was a dream. I enjoyed every single second of it… & getting married meant I was giving that up, forever! (Some of you may get this, while others may not… I get that!) Ultimately, I shared my fears with D… who, in turn, laughed at me! He reminded me that he travels, a lot, & my alone time was not about to be extinct. He knew how much I valued taking time with myself, & he respected it. I would, in fact, be just fine!
So yes, my husband travels… a lot… for work. My beloved alone time is built into our normal way of life. The alone time I get while D. is gone really is one of my favorite things, ever. I love my husband. I love the life we have built & are building, together. Forever with my husband isn’t going to be long enough… I know full & well how cheesy & cliche that sounds… but doing life together is everything to me. & so is my time alone.
Here’s why I love my alone time…
Let me reframe that… why I need my alone time!
I need my alone time to recharge.
I’m not one of those girls that thrives in a relationship by being inseparable from my husband. I’m fully aware that I am an extroverted introvert… & while my social life is important to me, I also know full & well that I people drain me of my energy. Your energy is a vital component of how you thrive in your relationship. There’s no way you be your best self without recharging every once in a while. & I recharge in my alone time.
I need my alone time, so I can build a relationship with myself.
I’ve always had a pretty solid relationship with myself. Sure, like anyone, my inner voice was quieter in some phases of my life than others… but I’m a rational & logical thinker, & I fully believe that it is no one else’s responsibility to find happiness & fulfillment in our lives but our own.
I know that I am most in touch with myself when I have that precious alone time to reflect on who I am, where I’ve been, & where I plan to go next. The relationship I have with myself is one I will always have, & making it the healthiest relationship I am in is important to me.
I need my alone time, to accomplish my own goals.
There is no one that listens to my crazy ideas & takes them more seriously than my husband… but, that doesn’t mean we want the same things. As a strong-willed, confident, proud feminist of a woman: I have dreams & goals that are separate of my husband’s… dreams & goals that don’t even include him. & I’m the kind of girl that can’t imagine life being worth living without having my own goals to accomplish.
My alone time serves me well, as it relates to my dreams & goals… & my businesses. I find that my creativity thrives when I give myself alone time. When I step away from being a wife & a friend & a sister & a business owner, & I plug into some serious self care. I’m the only one that can put things in motion to make my dreams come true… & settling in for too much Netflix & chill makes it hard for me to stay focused on the things that really matter to me, myself & I.
I need my alone time, to improve my romantic relationship.
Because this space is my safe space, I feel like I can be honest & authentic here: romance isn’t really my “thing.” & that has proven to be challenging within my marriage. Again, I understand that a healthy relationship requires each person to find ways to make themselves happy by not depending on the other person to do it for them. I’m not the kind of girl that does well in a co-dependent relationship. I’m not wired to be “needy,” but since getting married I’ve learned just how important it is to be able to communicate our needs & wants to each other. Which is something that I struggle with… & need my alone time to be able to work on this part of myself.
My husband does not make me feel whole. Nor would I want him to. It is my personal relationship & faith in God that enables me to be the strong & confident, independent woman that I am. I chose to invite D. into my life & spend forever with him, because I already feel whole & I want to enjoy life with him by my side. He’s like a “bonus”… he’s my “perk.” lol! Is there anything better than being able to do this thing called “life,” together?! I can’t imagine it.