Real {LOVE} Talk. - SignedM

Real {LOVE} Talk.

 In lifestyle, Uncategorized

{This is for you, D.}

Valentine’s Day kinda makes me want to barf. And I’m very happily married, and very much in the newlywed honeymoon phase of said marriage. I’m not a lovey-dovey, cheesy, hopeless romantic. Never have been. Public displays of affection make me uncomfortable, compliments often catch me off guard so I’m awkward with my gratitude, and I find Cupid to be stupid. I’m hands-down a Valentine’s Day Scrooge.

I married a man who is exactly opposite. If he was an emoji, he’d almost always have those heart-shaped eyes. My husband loves love, and loves any chance to express his love. He enjoys surprising me with flowers; he gets so excited about creating thoughtful little surprises for me that he can almost never keep it a surprise; and I honestly think he finds it quite enjoyable when he hits me with big cheese-filled compliments in public, then follows it up with a big wet kiss…because it always makes me squirm with embarrassment. There is not a day that goes by that my husband doesn’t tell me how happy he is to be my husband. Not. One. Puke, right?!

Let me be clear: I am not complaining. We are the living, breathing, walking example of “opposites attract.” We are wired completely differently, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This man that I married is, without a doubt, the macaroni to my cheese, the yin to my yang, and the peanut butter to my jelly. (hmmm… two food references there… both carb-heavy…I must be hungry, and sick of eating clean!) My happiness is his happiness, and I know he feels the same way. Being married to him is like having someone permanently in my corner, and it feels limitless…not limited. We are a work in progress, with a lifetime contract. And sure, there are moments (sometimes daily!) when he drives me nuts… and I know I can make him crazy. But we also keep each other sane.

I know everyone says this, but I married my best friend. I haven’t always been able to call him that. We struggled early on with getting our priorities straight, and with putting each other first. I am fiercely independent, and he is the definition of chivalrous and traditional. Both of us were stubborn, and our instincts were to do whatever we were told not to do, do it twice, and take pictures. There was a time when we, quite frankly, were experts at making the other person miserable. Friends on both sides exhausted themselves, trying to talk us out of being together. It was clear that neither of us was happy, and there wasn’t much that was healthy between us either. But, for reasons we still to this day can’t explain, we stuck it out. We reached a point where we looked at each other, with tears in our eyes and loneliness in our hearts, and realized we didn’t want to live without the other. But we absolutely could not keep making life so difficult for each other. So we committed to loving deeply. Because love will cover a multitude of sins. It was our only way to get back on track in our relationship. Love keeps no record of wrongs, and we needed a clean slate. We like to say that we learned all of our hard lessons before we got married.

So yes, I hate Valentine’s Day. I have more of a “salt tooth” than I do a “sweet tooth.” I am just not into the color pink. And I don’t like “all the feels” that are associated with the holiday. But I think I hate Valentine’s Day for more reasons than it just being a stupid holiday created to sell greeting cards. I also it rubs me the wrong way, because I think I wish it was a celebration of real life love: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Love is not all hearts and roses, and rainbows and butterflies, and chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne. Love is a lot of tears and hard work. Love is making a commitment, and staying loyal to it even when the mood you made it in has passed. Love is always putting someone else in front of yourself. Love is being strong when your person is weak. And OK, yes… love can, and more-than-often does, make you feel warm and fuzzy inside and weak at the knees. But I’ve found that I get all those feel good feelings in moments that are real… for reasons deeper than a box of chocolates. And that definitely deserves to be celebrated. But why do we only give love the attention that it deserves on one day? And why does it have to be done with such large, embarrassingly grand and glittering gestures?! lol!

Now my husband… D could have been the guy that dreamt up Valentine’s Day to begin with. He’s the kind that lives like every day is Valentine’s Day. All the love, all the time. lol. I love that big-hearted, cheesy guy. 🙂

So here’s my proposition: let’s celebrate love every day. The good. The bad. And the ugly. Let’s recognize love for what it really is… a great big beautiful mess of a bunch of different feelings and emotions, wrapped up in an inexplainable package that we can’t imagine living without, that just happens to be in the shape of our favorite person on the planet. Love: The greatest gift there is.

 

Signed,

M.

Recommended Posts

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.